SME: Feeling Sensation Oriented—Active

People with this type are deep feelers. SMEs are commonly known as highly sensitive people or those with sensory processing sensitivity. They have a much more complex inner life than most and are often perceived by others as sensitive, shy, or rude. Even when they focus externally, their awareness is oriented more to their internal sensations and thoughts that arise in response to external stimuli rather than to the stimuli itself. Their internal feelings can center them when in tune (in a healthy, balanced state) or overwhelm them when dissonant (in an unhealthy, out-of-balanced state). SMEs are often drawn to spirituality and/or the arts.

Adjectives Describing the SME Type

In Tune (healthy, balanced state): Caring, loyal, compassionate, value-oriented, practical, down-to-earth, grounded, imaginative, creative

Dissonant (unhealthy, out-of-balanced state): Easily upset, overwhelmed, dramatic, over-stimulated, judgmental, self-focused, self-destructive, withdrawn

Principle Characteristics

In Tune: When SME types are in tune, they can recognize the needs of others, connect with others, reach out for support and receive support from others, communicate clearly and put words to feelings and external stimuli, self-soothe, and appreciate a wide variety of sounds, sights, smells, tastes, and sensations.

Dissonant: When dissonant, SME types may become quickly overwhelmed by sensations, thoughts, and external stimuli. They are capable of dramatic emotional expressions, possess exaggerated startle responses, and appear unable to communicate thoughts and sensations. They may have a pattern of seeking attention and/or advice and then rejecting it. Dissonant SMEs may feel unlovable, unwanted, and hopeless. Often, they have difficulty following through with responsibilities and relationships and struggle to multitask. They may be prone to self-destructive behaviors and self-harm. They are often withdrawn and arrange their lives to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations.

Communication Style

SMEs often struggle to communicate with words. They may stumble on their words, use the wrong words, or start talking only to appear confused and then stop talking. Their internal experience can sometimes be extremely overwhelming, causing them to struggle putting words to their feelings. If this happens habitually, it can make it difficult for the individual to access words in any situation. As a result, SMEs may struggle to express themselves clearly to others. They likely feel misunderstood and resort to a passive-aggressive communication style or close up all together. Others may feel like they have to mind-read and often miss the mark of what the SME individual wants.

Boundaries

SMEs typically struggle with boundaries. They often feel like sights, sounds, smells, and sensations are boundary violations. When they are dissonant, sensations and sensory experiences that would be tolerable to other people feel like violations that elicit intense emotional responses. This type of hypersensitivity to boundaries makes it difficult to communicate boundaries to others in a healthy way. Dissonant SMEs may struggle to tell if someone is crossing their boundaries or if they themselves are crossing someone’s boundaries. Simply put, their boundaries seem so close and consuming they may struggle to know where appropriate boundaries should be placed.