SEM: Trusting Sensation Oriented—Passive

This type trusts others and self when in tune (in a healthy, low-stress state). When dissonant (in a less-than-healthy, high-stress state), this type is helpless and indecisive. SEMs tend to move through life with passive energy, meaning they may be naturally cautious, making them feel stuck and unable to progress without someone telling them what to do. Their inner world can be confusing and scary at times. It may be hard for them to make sense of their thoughts and feelings. They are oriented least in their minds, making it difficult for SEMs to understand what they are experiencing without the mind to add meaning to it. As a result, they often look outside themselves for meaning, turning to friends, romantic partners, teachers, books, religion, spirituality, and politics.

Adjectives Describing the SEM Type

In Tune (healthy, balanced state): Kindhearted, caring, sweet, innocent, empathetic, considerate, decisive, reliable, agreeable, likable

Dissonant (unhealthy, out-of-balanced state): Helpless, gullible, suggestible, childish, unreliable, unpredictable, indecisive, judgmental, self-focused, self-destructive

Principle Characteristics

In Tune: When SEM types are in tune, they can trust themselves and others. They can communicate wants and needs with words, connect with their internal experiences (thoughts and sensations), and share them with others. In-tune SEMs can also receive and utilize help from others, meet their own needs and self-soothe, and follow through with responsibilities.

Dissonant: When dissonant, SEM types may depend entirely on others. They may act childlike to get their needs met. They often give up easily when it comes to projects and relationships. Dissonant SEMs often seek help but don’t use it wisely—the support is never good enough or the right kind of help. They often minimize personal needs and wants, are prone to depression, and may experience bodily complaints and health issues that are often unexplainable.

Communication Style

SEMs often struggle to communicate with words. SEMs are least oriented mentally, making verbal communication challenging for them. They may stumble on their words, appear confused, and resort to asking, “What do you think?” In fact, this question is a significant part of how SEM individuals communicate. Without a strong awareness of their minds and what they think, dissonant SEMs struggle to add meaning and logic to their experience. Instead, they tend to reach out to others to tell them what things mean and how to progress through life logically. SEMs are often focused on being liked and agreeable. They can adapt and appear to be very progressive, though they often complain of being stuck in life and unable to progress. Even when they get the advice they are looking for, SEMs often ignore it because they can’t make sense of it internally. In an attempt to remedy this, they may seek more advice that they will likely reject too. When they recognize a need, they tend to express it in a passive-aggressive way. When this happens, they may assume they are expressing their demands clearly when they are not; this can look like them complaining about a problem instead of asking for help with a problem, which can lead them to feel even more rejected when people aren’t meeting their needs.

Boundaries

SEMs typically struggle with boundaries. When dissonant, SEMs are willing to let anyone in—hoping to receive the advice or support they are looking for. This allows people to get too close too fast. Once the SEM realizes this, it’s usually too late. The SEM will either cut off from the person or continue to reluctantly allow the person to remain too close. In fact, it is common for SEMs to stay in relationships way longer than necessary. SEMs struggle to tell if they are crossing someone’s boundary or if their boundaries are being crossed. As a result, they often find themselves in risky or scary situations they aren’t aware of until it’s too late.